Meet my new dog Paris!
OMG! I cannot believe it! No, I'm not talking about that garish thing in her hand. And I don't mean those oversize white sunglasses or the fact her extensions are four inches shorter or that her hat is ugly. Paris has to pump her own gas? NO WAY. Isn't there someone on the Hilton family payroll to do that? It's almost as bad as the time Kirsten Dunst had to push her own luggage cart through the airport! My heart! The things these poorly treated celebs have to do themselves! Please tell me Paris didn't actually have to wipe her own windshield or I'll have to take a Valium and wash it down with a split of Cristal.
And because there are just too many cute Prada togs for dogs these days, Paris had to purchase another mini-dog. And then in a gesture of goodness, she purchased a gnome for the dog to pee on! Awwww, how cute. Don't you love tacky lawn ornaments? And don't you love Paris and her addiction to tiny dogs that can fit in her oversized purses, tucked in between her cell phone and prescription drugs? And don't you love teeny tiny designer sweaters made just for dogs? That's HOT! And personally, I love leather doggie chaps and dogs with nipple clips. Now that is HOT!