Conversations about Famous People: Sly slams Orlando

Thursday, May 26

Sly slams Orlando

Sylvester Stallone thinks Orlando Bloom is just a big pussy and it's time we had a real man as an action hero. Of course, he is referring to himself. Even though he is like, seventy years old and looks like he has Bells Palsy, Sly thinks female fans would flock to the theater to see him in a wifebeater carrying a machine gum. I'm sorry to say that men with big muscles usually have a small penis and I find that unattractive.

Sly says, "I'm still in my prime and I look forward to showing fans the real action hero again. Today's idea of an action hero is Orlando Bloom. Orlando Bloom? Give me a break."

If he waits any longer, he is going to have to play Rambo with a walker and an oxygen tank and have a team of paramedics waiting in the wings should anything happen to his brittle bones.
Even though Orlando is rumored to be gay or bisexual as most good looking guys in Hollywood are rumored to be, I much rather spend a night with Orlando than Sylvester. In related news which just about everyone is aware of right now, Tom Cruise originally wanted Orlando's beard, Kate Bosworth as his girlfriend. Because Kate is otherwise engaged, Tom had to find another young actress whose career needed a boost and thus Katie was introduced. It is my pleasure to introduce you to the way Hollywood works. Its all smoke and mirrors and nothing is as it appears.

18 Comments:

Anonymous said...: I heart Orlando Bloom - I don't care either if he is gay or bi. C'mere, Orlando! @ 8:09 PM GMT+1
Anonymous said...: Good call on the Bell's Palsy, DJ!!! LOL LOL LOL I guess the 'roids caught up with Sly. And you're right, he must have a small penis. @ 8:38 PM GMT+1
Madina said...: how many people paid to see Stallone in his last few movies...they went straight to video so :) @ 8:57 PM GMT+1
Anonymous said...: Actually, about the Bell's palsy thing, Stallone does have some partial paralysis of his face. He's always had it (since he's been famous). I forget why; I read it long ago. @ 9:10 PM GMT+1
n.v. said...: He has it because his mother, the original TV workout guru, was doing vaginal calisthenics as she squoze his fat face out. Pinched a facial nerve or sumthin', hyuk hyuk! @ 9:31 PM GMT+1
Anonymous said...: Could it be that his face is made out of Sculpey? @ 10:21 PM GMT+1
Anonymous said...: Yeah, but Sly, does an action hero have to be ugly, too? @ 10:30 PM GMT+1
lauritajuanitasanchez said...: I'd rather see Orlando stumble through an action movie than Sly any day. YUM. @ 12:41 AM GMT+1
Redhead Gal said...: Orlando is beautiful. I never heard he was gay. Didn't he date Kate Bosworth for like two years?

Sly is ugly and scary. What happened to his face?? Looks like he went to Arnold's cosmetic surgeon with bad results. @ 2:48 AM GMT+1
swirlogirl said...: sly made that face when he saw demolition man and it's been stuck that way ever since @ 3:09 AM GMT+1
Karen's daughter said...: Ummm I'd do Sly! Orlando, on the other hand, I would let my gay boyfriend get down with that. @ 3:49 PM GMT+1
Esther said...: LOL, swirlogirl! (wipes spewed water off of monitor) @ 10:52 PM GMT+1
Johnny Griswold said...: Orlando Bloom IS a pussy. I wouldn't pay a dime to watch that fag pretend to be tough. And I don't care HOW big his dick is. @ 12:12 AM GMT+1
Pisser said...: Orlando is a sweetheart. I have tripped over him, personally. Just darling.

He rescued his doggie, Sidi, from Morocco, where he found the dog wandering the streets and eating camel shit out of a box...awwwwww @ 1:18 AM GMT+1
skyla said...: Sly plucks his eyebrows and he's calling Orlando Bloom a sissy? @ 4:15 PM GMT+1
Anonymous said...: DistressedJeans,

Calling Hollywood like it is, one BIG smoke screen!

FABULOUS! @ 8:26 AM GMT+1
The Wulf said...: Orlando Bloom _is_ a pussy. You would have to be a lesbian to find him attractive. Such massive attraction to such weak-bearded pretty-boys leads me to hypothesise that all women are lesbians by nature and only care for real men when it comes to financial stability. @ 3:48 AM GMT+1
relationship said...: The guy is definitely right, and there's no question. @ 8:16 AM GMT+1